Day 72… what a day. I had a bad start. I keep having these excessive hot moments where I sweat terribly. I’m not talking a little perspiration I’m talking flooding to the point I have sweat running down my neck like a waterfall. It’s like I was on a treadmill running but I wasn’t. It’s terrible. I become very fatigued and out of breath. Sometimes I can’t catch my breath and I feel very overwhelmed with fear.
I feel like a caged animal. I can’t deal with the anxiety because my body doesn’t work like it should because of the medication I’m on. I’m not depressed, I just can’t manage what is happening to me. Normally, I would go for a brisk walk to get rid of the adrenaline going through my veins but when your body doesn’t work like it’s supposed to that makes it impossible.
I worry about getting to my appointments on time. Did I do everything I needed to do? Did I check my sugar and take my blood pressure readings? Will my blood pressure drop too low and cause me to pass out? Can I make it from point A to point B safely? Will this lightheaded or dizzy feeling pass?
This is the stuff that goes through my brain. It becomes so overwhelming I can’t take it at times.
Trying to get to my appt at 8 am is just difficult and not possible for me. I need the time to get everything done without stressing over everything.
The doctors feel it’s something else going on, hormonal maybe. Doctors all agree I need to keep things slow in the morning because that time is difficult for me. My transplant team moved all of my morning appts back a bit to give me time. That should help to give me more time to manage the things I need to get done before heading to the hospital.
After my anxiety episode passed, I felt better as if nothing happened. I was able to get my emotions in track and carry out the day without any issues.
As for the other appointments, nothing really new to add with cardiologists or kidney dr. The only change to medicine was dropping my steroids and Tacro a bit which hopefully help with the fatigue in my legs.
I was very relieved to be back at the hotel to relax. Three doctor’s appointments and physical therapy were just too much for me.
Leave a Reply